Scrooge Examen

In the wee hours of the morning, much like Scrooge, I made a discovery. Unlike him, after years and years of reading and watching Dickens’ story of Christmas, I saw a parallel I have never seen before until now, already with the mind that the story as Dickens saw it is a conversion story.

It’s really moreso an Examen, in the spirit of St. Ignatius.

If I were really minute about this I’d look closer at Marley, even, and the way he questions Scrooge to consider why he does not trust his senses—how Ignatian is that?!—and then got Scrooge to *sense* inasmuch as intuit and logically believe what was going down around him. That part is actually one of my favorites. But more on that later.

The movement of Dickens’ story, from Stave I to Stave V, follows spirits, beings which seem a series of revelations and questions for Scrooge, who, as spiteful as he may be, is still open to considering. In every section there is a moment where he engages the spirit in question, sometimes because he repels the trauma represented before him, other times because he becomes drawn into the story further (a kinda genius thing on Dickens’ part, really, if you pay attention reading it and not just watching it). Scrooge is able to get at least that something is afoot with regard to his own soul, in spite of his past malediction: famously, the “Are there no workhouses?” and “surplus population” bit, and my other favorite part, the Ghost of Christmas Present’s stolid response in the sight of wee Tiny Tim. That he was not to decide who shall live and who shall die.

Scrooge is able to become humbled as it goes on, reminded of where he fell short, buoyant in remembering times of joy, nudged toward doing the good by stepping into the picture, the moment. He also manages to see where he will need to seek forgiveness, (“Mankind was my business! Charity, mercy, forebearance, and benevolence, were all my business….” Says Marley. Told you we’d come back into this.)

Dickens has light enter the picture first in the description of the Ghost of Christmas Past, to light the way examined. The boisterous and engaging Ghost of Christmas Present helps us “Examen” the day itself, Christmas the centerpiece of Dickens’ work. This combination of reviewing his past and considering his present lead toward that towering figure of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. And in the very sensory experience of listening to crude unfeeling responses to his death contrasted to that of the child, and then wiping the snow off his own grave, Scrooge has a quite visceral connection to his death and its meaninglessness in the face of the business he should have taken up.

For me, personally, this all hinges on his own discerned understanding of this journey: “Why show me this, if I am past all hope?”

That is when he really realizes (and the Ghost’s hand even shakes a little at this!) the purpose of this interruption. As a reflective extended prayer, these spirits led Scrooge to this place where he is able to change because of hope. He had not possessed hope before.

And by golly if we can’t use this message now, then when? I’ll probably not look at the Examen in much the same way again, though I won’t be looking for those spirits. I know the Holy Spirit enters into many of your lives realized or not; I have enjoyed listening about this over these past several years as a spiritual director, and have hope in a world where there are people who want to take up their small part.

Anima

 

Passion of Christ, strengthen me. 

 The line from the Anima Christi I say before receiving communion every week, before feeding my weary soul after more challenges and concerns meet me along the way. This line which stayed with me, as if whispered in my ear, as if a specific kind of encouragement. 

 I am by nature a passionate person, and have always taken heart in this along with all the Anima Christi prayer. I’ve thought since I was a teen the idea of being “inebriated” was counterculture built in, and that still stuns me, but being a word nerd does not surprise me at all, the Latin base and root words foundational to my understanding, as well as my Portuguese understanding: sanctifica, salva, inebria, lava, conforta, absconda me. Sanctify, save, inebriate, wash, comfort, hide me. 

 The words immediately remind me of the part in A Wrinkle in Time, when the motherly Beast creature completely wraps our main character in comfort and protection from the evils she has just encountered, a needed respite before she continues onward, inevitably, toward the thing she needed to face. I feel that every single day. I’ve always felt that: the facing of things, of life, straightforward. Sometimes I do want to retreat. This prayer showed me from a young age I could do both—could regroup and then move forward, again. I could become inebriated in the thought and soul process of coming close to the Christ I prayed with and moved towards, each step of my day. Inebriated. Just fully consumed by the energy of the same. 

 These verbs carry me now. I bring them into each encounter I have, to each person I meet. I’ll meet you along the way.