St. Ignatius’s Suscipe prayer calls for a complete reliance on God when push comes to shove, when things are ordinary—a reminder that in the end, we’re co-creators but we rely on help when we’re weak, that we’re not superheroes capable of all things—but sometimes, like angels, we are capable of amazing things. The mystery is in the balance of vulnerability with agency—the two must go hand in hand for us to remain human. Take my memory, understanding, my entire will is an offering to the one who made us, a perplexing list of directives that seem to run counter to human culture that recently has ramped up its self-reliance factor to the nth degree, and then we find ourselves surprised when we cannot go forward, when we feel alone and defeated.
Strength so ironically comes from weakness, or our perception of weakness. isn’t that a good thing? I don’t know about you, but I often these days find myself feeling helpless, vulnerable, at a loss. I live for the things in my life that have been entrusted to me because in these I know I can offer my talents and live my vocation. I am a mother to two and a teacher for 76—surely each year I have done this has contributed something to my soul, my mind, and theirs?
My prayer lately is for freedom from expectations—the ones we have put on each other, that I have put on myself or others, rightly or wrongly—in favor of an expansive vision, that of God’s as he sees us in his mercy, and takes us where we need to be. For my spiritual practice I meditate on the set daily readings of the church, and love that I am in solidarity with so many others who hear it or read it at the same time as a community focused on the nature of faith. I hope that those reading aren’t attaching their own expectations to the words that come to us from an ancient and different place altogether, but do see and honor the value of those words. Lately I have focused in on how Jesus responds—he doesn't react so much as he responds, with a real focus on the heart of any matter presented him. I want to be that, strive for it, and am getting better little by little.
There’s a passage in Corinthians that reminds readers “a little yeast leavens the dough,” and I want to start thinking about the effect of my life, my words, my relationships and interactions, the ways in which I share thing—all these to be the little bit of yeast in the world we’re kneading. All to feed the greater good, as it were.