Sometimes goodbyes just suck.
There, I said it.
I do know I learn something which each of the many, many goodbyes I have said in my life: the ephemeral of it all, the desperate need we should all have to cherish, the deeps of the darks and the brights of the lights—all of a piece. When I think of all the goodbyes my family alone has said, across ocean and continents, I still feel humbled, even as I feel my farewells with the pain of a thousand needles. That saudade, that old friend I want to kick out the door when she comes ringing. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know what I know when it hurts as it does.
Still, every mile, every encounter, every sharing, every gift, every holiday and illness, every loss and gain—all of it—matters. Molds me in ways I have yet to understand.
And that will have to be enough. Is enough. Is the best and worst gift, awe-inspiring.