I find myself two months since my last post, caught up in the usual busyness of life. I thank God that most of this, while challenging, has been rewarding: watching my students grow in knowledge and understanding; watching my beautiful daughters show me how lucky I am to know little souls; grappling with everyday problems. I also struggle with the kinds of problems that feel like they can’t be solved, or won’t be, at least, for a long time. God throws quite a few of those at me, alongside graces. Always graces, snuck in as part of the package strange and foreboding, even. Throughout my life I have found on my proverbial doorstep so many with deeply broken selves and struggles, and in recent times I have found my own, too—struggles that test the core of what I believe, in my soul, to be the right way to live in this world as we look toward the next: to be merciful, even in the face of mercilessness.
Thanksgiving is upon us, and mercilessness is on the rise; my prayer is that we see the graces being snuck in as a part of all this; that we present our true selves to the One who made us; that somehow, even when we are at our human worst, that we find ways to talk and share, even when we disagree. As of right now the only things I know to be true: the Holy Spirit is present even when I think it’s the darkest and regardless of whether I see; that compassion is a charism we must invest in for ourselves; and that I value relationship in mercy, not in grandstanding or false righteousness. These days, this feels hard to come by—which is why I pray for it all, shamelessly coming before my Creator, knowing that the truth of time and this present moment is the only real thing.