Unleashed Joy
On Holy Thursday, I was 20 weeks and 1 day pregnant. And for the first time, I allowed myself to be fully joyful: inside, I had an all-out party with myself and Tiny Dancer. I named the baby Tiny Dancer when I first saw legs and arms move as if in joy, as if to say to me--Mama! Look at me! And I did, and I fell in love. I saw, through the miracle of science, pictures of my little one, full head, limbs, belly, squirming and stretching and telling me, yes, I am here, I am going nowhere until it’s time. Little by little I learn the lesson of trust. Each milestone feels different this time, teaches me something new about myself. In recent days I find myself coaching from within: accept whatever comes. Accept the strange feeling of your belly pulling down and outward; accept the possibility something has gone wrong; accept the possibility all has gone well. Accept it all--it may all be true. Accept the gift of each day given freely. This, my latest lesson ...