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A Willing Spirit Sustain

  It has been some time since I have reflected with you and for you, and I feel moved to write because of the recent passing of Fr. Tom Francis, OCSO, and my visit to the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, GA to commemorate his life, praying with the monks at noonday prayer, reflecting, walking, reading, and writing before I head into a new year of teaching. Fr Tom Francis left me an indelible gift of joy that allows me to see some things in graphic relief, among them sources of inspiration toward restoration of the spirit. When life gets difficult, we seek some way forward (and admittedly sometimes go backward to find it, but that’s only human!). Even though the way forward seems insurmountable, or perplexing, the Psalmist had it right to ask: “a willing spirit sustain in me” ( Ps.51). There’s much to do to create space for that level of willingness, but we all have the capacity to ask for simply the sustaining part of it. It’s in sustaining our willingness that we might more
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Anna and Simeon

  Just returned from a retirement party, and finding myself wistful about what I do and who I work with and all the memory that comes with that. This rumination has taught me a lesson of late: never underestimate what the power of waiting can yield in your life, in your perspective. There’s not a need to be right, or the best in the room, or accomplished in a way that takes anything away from anyone else—just a need to be who you are and give what you do to those who surround you, in the sure knowledge that in some way you have made a mark in their lives that may stand the test of time.  The party came on the heels of reflecting on the passages of my current study for the 19th Annotation, the passage about Simeon and Anna, waiting in the temple for what had been a long time, after much experience and daily striving in their own lives, to faithfully meet the Christ-child entering in nestled in his mother’s arms. Simeon gets a worded statement, and Anna does not, but both, clearly noted
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Beatitudes as Jesus’ Magna Carta

“Blessed are they who are poor in Spirit; theirs is the kingdom of God.” This start to Jesus’ Magna Carta, a reminder to us that the natural laws of humanity built into creation by the Creator have significance. That we are some and at times poor in Spirit; we mourn; there are the weak, the hungry and thirsty for righteousness, the merciful, the clean of heart, the peacemakers. There will always be those persecuted. Jesus acknowledges FIRST that these souls exist—he sees people where they are—and he blesses them, giving them hope that one day the world may see them in these blessings, but for now, God DOES.  To start it, Jesus acknowledges the presence of those poor in Spirit and gives them the Kingdom for it. These are the poor he knew or got to know, because he was in the habit of befriending, approaching, or being with. Magdalene is a prime example, as well as numerous others. Theirs is the kingdom, on earth as it is in heaven, as Jesus expands for our sake in his formulation and c
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Scrooge Examen

In the wee hours of the morning, much like Scrooge, I made a discovery. Unlike him, after years and years of reading and watching Dickens’ story of Christmas, I saw a parallel I have never seen before until now, already with the mind that the story as Dickens saw it is a conversion story. It’s really moreso an Examen, in the spirit of St. Ignatius. If I were really minute about this I’d look closer at Marley, even, and the way he questions Scrooge to consider why he does not trust his senses—how Ignatian is that?!—and then got Scrooge to *sense* inasmuch as intuit and logically believe what was going down around him. That part is actually one of my favorites. But more on that later. The movement of Dickens’ story, from Stave I to Stave V, follows spirits, beings which seem a series of revelations and questions for Scrooge, who, as spiteful as he may be, is still open to considering. In every section there is a moment where he engages the spirit in question, sometimes because he r
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Anima

  Passion of Christ, strengthen me.   The line from the Anima Christi I say before receiving communion every week, before feeding my weary soul after more challenges and concerns meet me along the way. This line which stayed with me, as if whispered in my ear, as if a specific kind of encouragement.   I am by nature a passionate person, and have always taken heart in this along with all the Anima Christi prayer. I’ve thought since I was a teen the idea of being “inebriated” was counterculture built in, and that still stuns me, but being a word nerd does not surprise me at all, the Latin base and root words foundational to my understanding, as well as my Portuguese understanding: sanctifica, salva, inebria, lava, conforta, absconda me. Sanctify, save, inebriate, wash, comfort, hide me.   The words immediately remind me of the part in A Wrinkle in Time, when the motherly Beast creature completely wraps our main character in comfort and protection from the evils she has just encountered
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Fig Tree

It’s be a long while since I have posted, and I am noticing that my last post was about the coming-to-life fig tree, which is now shedding its leaves like the Whomping Willow in the Harry Potter series. It makes me smile to see, each time. The seasons have continued onward, marching past our fears, doubts, and deep struggles. A long, hard road, friends, a long hard one—as I am sure it has been for you.  Only this week have my children been able to gain access to the vaccine, for which I find myself utterly grateful and humbled. Generations of humans have grappled with pandemic illness, with disease which we’ve studied and tried our best to overcome—to heal one another. I find myself in a position to help others move toward healing internally inasmuch as any of us need to heal physically from anything at all. I’m equally grateful for the many friends I have in my life dedicating their own to the study of those things which need eradication in our current world: illness; racism; injustic
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Preserving

It’s that time of year when the fig tree in our yard, which has grown exponentially every year since we have lived in this home, really starts showing its fruits. My husband, a tried and true Southerner, is a blur of canning, and loves to make fig preserves and syrups, and I marvel at the intricate process and his obsession with it. Thank God for the greenness of earth, which offers us so much in its simplicity to keep us in tune and interested in creation, grounding us in reality.   I thought of this when I realized this week I’d completed my goal of achieving spiritual direction certification, something I’ve been thinking about and working toward since 2016 (perhaps longer even). Now I’m unable to see life, to see humans and their intricacies, in any other way. I find it hard to listen in any other way than with this attention St Ignatius in his 500 year old practice of the Spiritual Exercises has taught me, though I am finding this voice present outside my sphere of religious exper
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